박승예 Park S.Y 1 페이지

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Park SeungYea 


When I was young, I couldn’t watch horror movies. I was said to be a timid girl who covered her eyes with her hands, but couldn’t help but running away, frightened by the sound of movies and unable to turn the volume down.

As I grew up, when I made up my mind to do a bit of an experiment and watched a quite famous horror movie series, gazing it with my heart trembling, what made me embarrassedly surprised was the fact that the movie was less scary than my usual nightmare. The fear constructed by such a movie could not reproduce any of the fear made by the “imagination” in my mind and heart.

The origin of the fear that threatens me and makes me feel anxious is mostly created in my imagination. Eventually, I come to realize that the true nature of the fear that I am facing is myself, which I myself construct and encounter.

My works are an effort in which my internal and external individual “selves” meet and recognize each other, become aware of the irony of their differences and grope for the way of coexistence, trying to overcome the uneasy anxiety and the life of discontent through disenchantment of “being awakened.” I call it by myself, “my work is a battle ground where the monsters clash against each other.” I recognize that there is an irony as in the fact that my reflection in a mirror raises her opposite arm when I raise my arm in the real world. Another me in the mirror also notices my criteria and desire in the real world that is outside of the mirror. But both of us know very well that we coexist as one entity and cannot run away from each other. This draws out an extreme fear. I intend to depict the moment of instability where the contradictory beings meet, become distorted and disturbed, emitting anxiety. It is part of effort for my “overcoming.” I would like to accept the uneasiness and anxiety of fear and denial that are poured onto myself on the moment of coexistence by “being awakened.” I would like to overcome the fear by accepting my own contradiction, imperfection and insecurity. (Some people call the figurative outlook of my works as ‘double self-image.’)

I do not want to be restrained by the fear that I generated and the imperfection of my own. The pain from the clash between my internal monster and the external monster will become a stimulant for me to be awakened.